Writing Through the Night

I write this blog from my new "post" so to speak. I have had mixed emotions sharing this, but the Lord truly has blessed me with a new job and a new source of income. Of course I could say 'new,' but in all reality it's reverting to the old :-) I am once again working overnight shifts for Security (something which I thought I would stear clear of--the overnight part of the job of course). But God has a way of opening doors that sometimes are the hardest to go through, and that require a lot of faith to go through and a trust that He knows best and I really can't thwart what He is doing or wants to do in my life :-)

The worst part about this blog is that I am writing this without even my whole family in "the know" about my new work. That will be the next thing to do once I finish out my weekend of work and sleep. Of course, in taking this position, I thought I remembered what I was getting myself into, but doing 12 hour shifts through the night is another story. It has brought me to a new place of dependency upon the Father that I probably haven't been in a while. A new place of faith and trust in the Father, that frankly, I haven't been before. In many ways, though this could be thought of as the hardest thing to go through, I know it will also be a very rewarding season. Cause what better place is there to be, then at the foot of the cross and in constant need of renewed strength and life given by my Father.

If anything, this is exactly where I need to be. I've been finding that this past year has revealed much about my own life that I really haven't thought about before. Part of this "looking in" has revealed that my heart fights to take control away from God and have it myself. To give Him parts of things, but keep some of it to myself. Or maybe in the words I've used before; to fit God into my story rather than fitting myself into His grand amazing story! To stop trying to take control out of God's hands and think I can do things on my own. Well, as my older brother has recently reminded me, I'm not that BIG. I actually can't take control from God, I truly can't thwart His plans, and I can't tell God how I want things (though my heart goes there at times). If this were the case, and I actually got my requests, I think (in the words of the Gospels) I'd be receiving stones and snakes for answers to my requests, and not the bread and fish that God so abundantly provides (I hope you got that analogy). I know I'm usually asking for the wrong things, so I thank my God that He answers in His wisdom, and in His timing, and with what is best for me!

And right now, the answer is "overnight security" :-) This is a humbling reality. And yet, isn't this exactly why I created this blog, to show that God's glory is perfected in my weaknesses! Actually I'm struck at the irony of this even now. That Jesus Christ and the glories of the Gospel will be seen better when I am weak. For when I am weak He is that much stronger! And His grace is that much more evident.

God, I can only fully appreciate your grace in my utter weaknesses, and in my dependency upon You! Thank me for taking me to this place in my life once again. Help me to stay here in utter dependency through all you take me through in this life.

For while we were still weak [without strength, helpless, frail, sickly], at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners (weak), Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies (weak) we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation. (Romans 5:6-11)

Glory and Walmart?

I had a great day driving around Seattle today, partly because there is only one Walmart even remotely close to me (yes, the single man must have his Walmart) and because it sometimes is cheaper to drive to locations to buy the product you need (i.e. movie tickets) then it is to pre-order them online :-)

While on my drive I got to hear a message by Tim Keller entitled "The Gospel for Yourself" where he speaks of glory as being "weightiness." Or in other words, when God shows up he truly shows up! What might have been a concept of God is now complete REALITY! This was what Isaiah went through in Isaiah 6. God was no longer a concept to him, though he truly did believe God existed. God had now become true REALITY; who He really was, full of glory, was right in front of Isaiah!

First off, this made me think about how often I make God out to be a concept, usually one that I easily can adapt into MY Life, and how I want Him to bless, give out and react to me. But in fact, to believe God in concept is truly to believe another gospel, a LIE. God has not shown Himself in concept, but in REALITY. He did so to Isaiah around 3000 years ago, and I get to glean from such a moment in history! Think about it, God visiting earth in all His glory, with the angels present before Him singing HOLY! HOLY! HOLY! I can't imagine. But the point is how Isaiah responded and how I should be responding to God's presence, Him truly showing up and bringing His glory into my life!

Woe is me! I am a man of unclean lips (I am way worse than I thought I was, my sin is utterly sinful!) and I dwell with a people of unclean lips (we are all in the same predicament, we are all completely lost, sinful people)

And the angel brought a piece of fire (not to judge but to cleanse) and touched my lips, ...and said your sins are atoned for and your guilt is taken away (the good news that I will not receive my just judgment for my sin!). Then Isaiah said, "Here am I, send me!"

Jesus Christ and Him crucified on my behalf is what God's glory revealed to Isaiah that day, and that's the same message of glory I have received from God! That His glory has shown up, and instead of being consumed I have been covered by the blood of Jesus! Instead of a fire to bring judgment, the fire brings cleansing! My sins have been atoned for, and my guilt has been completely taken away! What a good message we have to bring to people! This is the message of God's glory!

In my reading of 2 Thessalonians today, the same message of glory kept popping up.

To this end we always pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling and may fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by his power, so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ. (1:11-12)


To this he called you through our gospel, so that you may obtain the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. (2:14)

Finally, brothers, pray for us, that the word of the Lord may speed ahead and be glorified, as happened among you,
(3:1)

And I've been thinking more and more lately, that my life is about revealing the kingdom of God to everyone I come in contact with (and not creating the kingdom of Paul while I'm here); revealing the True REALITY of God, in all His GLORY (weightiness). And this revealing of Himself came in the form of Christ on the cross. This is the story that gave strength and vigor to Isaiah as he was SENT by God; this is the same story He has SENT me out to proclaim. Not out of duty, but out of delight!

Sheer delight, because I was once flat on my face, buried in the mud, held in judgment in comparison to God's glory and holiness! Yet, Jesus paid for my sin! Jesus has died in my place; He has taken the wrath of God upon Himself so that I wouldn't have to bear that! And any guilt from sin, He has removed completely! How can I not delight in this!