Writing Through the Night

I write this blog from my new "post" so to speak. I have had mixed emotions sharing this, but the Lord truly has blessed me with a new job and a new source of income. Of course I could say 'new,' but in all reality it's reverting to the old :-) I am once again working overnight shifts for Security (something which I thought I would stear clear of--the overnight part of the job of course). But God has a way of opening doors that sometimes are the hardest to go through, and that require a lot of faith to go through and a trust that He knows best and I really can't thwart what He is doing or wants to do in my life :-)

The worst part about this blog is that I am writing this without even my whole family in "the know" about my new work. That will be the next thing to do once I finish out my weekend of work and sleep. Of course, in taking this position, I thought I remembered what I was getting myself into, but doing 12 hour shifts through the night is another story. It has brought me to a new place of dependency upon the Father that I probably haven't been in a while. A new place of faith and trust in the Father, that frankly, I haven't been before. In many ways, though this could be thought of as the hardest thing to go through, I know it will also be a very rewarding season. Cause what better place is there to be, then at the foot of the cross and in constant need of renewed strength and life given by my Father.

If anything, this is exactly where I need to be. I've been finding that this past year has revealed much about my own life that I really haven't thought about before. Part of this "looking in" has revealed that my heart fights to take control away from God and have it myself. To give Him parts of things, but keep some of it to myself. Or maybe in the words I've used before; to fit God into my story rather than fitting myself into His grand amazing story! To stop trying to take control out of God's hands and think I can do things on my own. Well, as my older brother has recently reminded me, I'm not that BIG. I actually can't take control from God, I truly can't thwart His plans, and I can't tell God how I want things (though my heart goes there at times). If this were the case, and I actually got my requests, I think (in the words of the Gospels) I'd be receiving stones and snakes for answers to my requests, and not the bread and fish that God so abundantly provides (I hope you got that analogy). I know I'm usually asking for the wrong things, so I thank my God that He answers in His wisdom, and in His timing, and with what is best for me!

And right now, the answer is "overnight security" :-) This is a humbling reality. And yet, isn't this exactly why I created this blog, to show that God's glory is perfected in my weaknesses! Actually I'm struck at the irony of this even now. That Jesus Christ and the glories of the Gospel will be seen better when I am weak. For when I am weak He is that much stronger! And His grace is that much more evident.

God, I can only fully appreciate your grace in my utter weaknesses, and in my dependency upon You! Thank me for taking me to this place in my life once again. Help me to stay here in utter dependency through all you take me through in this life.

For while we were still weak [without strength, helpless, frail, sickly], at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners (weak), Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies (weak) we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation. (Romans 5:6-11)

Glory and Walmart?

I had a great day driving around Seattle today, partly because there is only one Walmart even remotely close to me (yes, the single man must have his Walmart) and because it sometimes is cheaper to drive to locations to buy the product you need (i.e. movie tickets) then it is to pre-order them online :-)

While on my drive I got to hear a message by Tim Keller entitled "The Gospel for Yourself" where he speaks of glory as being "weightiness." Or in other words, when God shows up he truly shows up! What might have been a concept of God is now complete REALITY! This was what Isaiah went through in Isaiah 6. God was no longer a concept to him, though he truly did believe God existed. God had now become true REALITY; who He really was, full of glory, was right in front of Isaiah!

First off, this made me think about how often I make God out to be a concept, usually one that I easily can adapt into MY Life, and how I want Him to bless, give out and react to me. But in fact, to believe God in concept is truly to believe another gospel, a LIE. God has not shown Himself in concept, but in REALITY. He did so to Isaiah around 3000 years ago, and I get to glean from such a moment in history! Think about it, God visiting earth in all His glory, with the angels present before Him singing HOLY! HOLY! HOLY! I can't imagine. But the point is how Isaiah responded and how I should be responding to God's presence, Him truly showing up and bringing His glory into my life!

Woe is me! I am a man of unclean lips (I am way worse than I thought I was, my sin is utterly sinful!) and I dwell with a people of unclean lips (we are all in the same predicament, we are all completely lost, sinful people)

And the angel brought a piece of fire (not to judge but to cleanse) and touched my lips, ...and said your sins are atoned for and your guilt is taken away (the good news that I will not receive my just judgment for my sin!). Then Isaiah said, "Here am I, send me!"

Jesus Christ and Him crucified on my behalf is what God's glory revealed to Isaiah that day, and that's the same message of glory I have received from God! That His glory has shown up, and instead of being consumed I have been covered by the blood of Jesus! Instead of a fire to bring judgment, the fire brings cleansing! My sins have been atoned for, and my guilt has been completely taken away! What a good message we have to bring to people! This is the message of God's glory!

In my reading of 2 Thessalonians today, the same message of glory kept popping up.

To this end we always pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling and may fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by his power, so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ. (1:11-12)


To this he called you through our gospel, so that you may obtain the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. (2:14)

Finally, brothers, pray for us, that the word of the Lord may speed ahead and be glorified, as happened among you,
(3:1)

And I've been thinking more and more lately, that my life is about revealing the kingdom of God to everyone I come in contact with (and not creating the kingdom of Paul while I'm here); revealing the True REALITY of God, in all His GLORY (weightiness). And this revealing of Himself came in the form of Christ on the cross. This is the story that gave strength and vigor to Isaiah as he was SENT by God; this is the same story He has SENT me out to proclaim. Not out of duty, but out of delight!

Sheer delight, because I was once flat on my face, buried in the mud, held in judgment in comparison to God's glory and holiness! Yet, Jesus paid for my sin! Jesus has died in my place; He has taken the wrath of God upon Himself so that I wouldn't have to bear that! And any guilt from sin, He has removed completely! How can I not delight in this!

Comatose, Coffee, Calamity and Christ!

Yeah, a lot of things in just one day! God is awesome!

And then there was the weekend! Well, to begin with today.. woke up to a phone call from my roommate at 6:15AM, asking me to bring him something he had forgotten to bring with him on the bus, as he was heading into Seattle to work at one of the MANY Starbucks in the city. So, in order to retain his reputation and keep his job there, I figured I should bring in what he had forgotten :-) So, a great quiet ride into the city of Seattle at too early of an hour! But what a blessing to serve my roommate!

Then onto the coffee shop, Cafe Osita, where I got to spend great time conversing with the owner Andrea, and learned all about the different coffee terms on her menu :-) Possibly my sister would appreciate me learning about coffee, as she just drinks it up (Starbucks that is), and if we all confessed, I'm sure we are all still learning about how it's all made, what the terms on the menu mean and all that stuff :-) I usually go in to a coffee shop and stare at the menu filled with terms I don't know. Can be overwhelming, ha! So for a little education.

Going down her menu list (1) an Americano is a shot or two of expresso mixed with hot water. (2) a Cappuchino is a shot or two of expresso, steamed milk and frothed milk on top (the foam). Certain parts of Italy believe a "real" drink has thick froth, while other regions believe the smoother, thinner froth is the authentic one :-) I of course will not fight over it. (3) A Latte differs from a Cappuchino in that there will be mostly steamed milk and not a lot of froth (foam) in your drink, as the term Latte means "milk." (4) A Macchiato (sounds Japanese to me) is Italian for "marked" and usually is referring to an expresso shot or two "marked" with a dap of foam on top, usually not what you get when ordering a Macchiato from Starbucks (that's more like a Latte Macchiato). (5) A Breve is an expresso shot mixed with half-n-half, instead of using steamed milk (you can also ask for Soy milk or Hemp milk to be used). Lastly, in case you've never heard of a Cubano, (6) a Cubano is made by either adding sugar to the collection container with the expresso before brewing or whipping the sugar into a small amount of espresso after brewing and then mixing that with the rest of the shot. Few places will make it for you though. So there! That's about what I learned today at the coffee shop. Andrea can correct me if I'm wrong. Hopefully I listened well

The Calamity portion speaks of what I received on Sunday at Mars Hill West Seattle. My pastor Mark Driscoll along with his friend James McDonald were able, miraculously, to fly into Haiti this past week, along with a MH film crew that recorded his time in Haiti, the devastation and peril that occurred and was occuring, and yet the unflinching faith of those who loved Jesus, even amidst difficult emotions, broken families, dead brothers and wives, missing loved ones, missing pastors and crumbled churches. It absolutely broke my heart, as it even brought back precious memories of my time over there in 00' when I visited churches in Port-au-Prince and Carrefour (pronounced "car-foo").

Mark reminded us of the brevity of life, the urgency of the Gospel and the need to rise up and provide for churches in Haiti, as God has abundantly blessed us with so much here in America. One of the coolest stories I heard from a lady missionary in the video was that she was seeing this calamity from a larger perspective, seeing things as God's story unfolding. She believes the crumbling of churches, the calamity of the situation, would only result in a greater scattering of the church of God, meaning the good news of the love of Jesus and the forgiveness of sins would reach more areas in Haiti, and more people in Haiti! And in being moved by what I saw Sunday, I am asking God even now what role I might be able to play in helping Haiti more. Lord-willing that might even mean me going over there to help serve for a season.

Lastly, I want to end with Jesus Christ, as the title of this post indicates. He is worthy of all glory, praise, and adoration! I got to talk to a brother of mine tonight who just started coming to Mars Hill, who is struggling in his faith, asking questions about repeated sin in his life, and wanting to find change through Jesus. And that was the beautiful thing about tonight! In the both of us talking about Jesus as the answer, it stirred and strengthened my own heart concerning Christ's atoning work on the cross; that He became my substitute, the slaughtered Lamb who hung on the cross for my sins, and that He also was my perfect Scapegoat (Leviticus 16) who took my sin away forever (as far as the East is from the West), never to be remembered again, never to be accused of again, never to be shamed from such things again. He took it all away! By His stripes I was healed!

And again, at the end of the day, much has happened and still more is to come, but I can rest in the finished work of Christ! It brings to mind Isaiah 53, which I'd like to finish with. Here is what Christ did out of His love for me and out of His love for His Father!

 ³ He was despised and rejected by men,
       a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief.
       And as one from whom men hide their faces
       he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
 ⁴ Surely he has borne our griefs
       and carried our sorrows,
       yet we esteemed him stricken,
       smitten by God, and afflicted.
 ⁵ But he was wounded for our transgressions,
       he was crushed for our iniquities;
       the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
       and with his stripes we are healed.

All Who Are Thirsty, Come

What do I post first? Well, this blog may take many different looks, but for now I figured I would try and keep this blog centered on what truth God was impressing on my heart for the day. Anything else is just life lived out in expectation of showing forth His glory through it all!

So, why not begin in a book that has made a great impact on my heart since coming to Seattle, Isaiah. Today I got to actually slow down, take some extended time and meditate over some Scripture. Isaiah 55:1 was in that portion of reading, and I still am chewing over it right now. There are so many implications in this one verse, and probably so much to talk about; but the goal is for God to receive glory through His Word and to let you know what God is teaching me through His Word.

The Gospel is here! In this one verse.


"Come, all you who are thirsty,
       come to the waters;
       and you who have no money,
       come, buy and eat!
       Come, buy wine and milk
       without money and without cost.

The call for my own heart today has been to "come!" But the hearts condition must be one of thirst! I won't desire to come unless I am thirsty. So God has been asking me today, Are you thirsty for me Paul? Are you thirsty for the waters that I provide? Interestingly enough, the call is for those who have no money! In my understanding, God is asking, Do you see you are destitute? Do you see you are like the son who squandered all his money and is eating out of a pig's trough? Do you really believe you come to me without money, without anything to give me? And now I think I'm getting to the heart of what God is trying to tell me here. Do I believe I am broken, that I am weak, that I am a jar of clay that in and of itself is quite useless? Or am I thinking I am something special, something worth giving attention to, self-sufficient, adequate and able to hold myself up? Will I boast in my so-called strengths?

But God's call is to the one with NO money. He's calling that one to "Come! Come, buy wine and milk! Buy and eat with Me! It's free! There is no amount of money that can purchase what I have, there is no cost of your own for what I give!

And then the Gospel hit me with its precious promises! What God gives as a free gift is only because it has already been purchased and had a great cost to it! Communion and relationship with God cost him his own communion with his Son! Jesus purchased this with His own blood, for He was wounded for my transgressions and by His stripes I have been healed (Isaiah 53)!! Jesus died so that I could buy wine and milk without money and without cost! He died so that I could COME!

Without Jesus paying for it all I wouldn't even be able to come. I would be lost in my self-sufficiency and pride, a shattered jar of clay. And in this, the good news is a herald to all who would listen! It is good news for my heart today. Jesus died a bloody, costly, death to secure for Himself those whom He loves. Jesus paid it all. All to Him I owe, sin had left a crimson stain, yet He washed it white as snow!

Do you thirst? Have you come to the waters that God has provided already through Jesus? Do you know there is wine and milk offered to you freely? Trust in Jesus. Fly to Jesus. Believe in Jesus!